Road to marriage in Japan①

Hello~

I talked about the Japanese wedding style in this blog. ↓

Japanese Daily Life

Wedding in modern Japan

https://www.japanesedailylife.com/culture-custom/wedding-in-japan

Today I introduce common ceremonies and receptions in modern Japan. We have many manners and rules for a wedding. I think it's a bit hassle.  And, nowadays the number of couples who don't hold wedding ceremonies has increased in Japan.What are common wedding ceremonies and receptions in Japan like?①Wedding ceremonyA bride and groom can choose Western or Japanese ceremony style. It is common to be held in a church or a shrine. These “church” or “shrine” are not often real ones, Japan...

Today I want to talk about Japanese typical wedding and my own one. I got married a few years ago.  I will introduce the flow from the marriage proposal to the wedding ceremony. What kind of process do modern Japanese couples marry?

I will show my wedding flow in this table.

※ That is just in my case. Not in all Japanese cases.

Today I will talk the first step toward marriage (the table’s boldface). I talk about Japanese typical ①propose, ②start to choose a wedding hall and ③meet each parent.

1 Propose

After finishing the marriage proposal, we prepare for the marriage. It’s popular that men give an engagement ring at a restaurant where you can see a night view on a birthday or anniversary. Several of those conditions are applicable to my husband and me, too lol. Some women want to choose their favorite rings by themselves, so some couples will buy engagement rings together after a marriage proposal. My case is this one, too.

2 Start to choose a wedding hall

A couple who does not have a wedding ceremony is increasing recently, but I had because I wanted to wear a dress and show my parents me in a wedding dress. There are many styles of wedding ceremonies and receptions in Japan. Couples first must decide what kind of wedding do they want to have.

Whether do you want to have a wedding ceremony in Japanese style or Western-style? Whether do you invite a large number of people or only your family? And whether do you want to hold your ceremony in the country or overseas?

I wanted to have an orthodox wedding inviting not only my family but also friends and colleagues. Since popular wedding halls will be booked soon (you have to make a reservation a year in advance!), you have to find that earlier.
In that case, read “Zexy”!
“Zexy” is an information magazine about the arrangement of marriage and the introduction of ceremony halls. It is a popular wedding magazine in Japan. Of course, I bought that, too. That is issued monthly, but a very thick book…
I started to search for wedding halls, referring to Zexy.

↑”Zexy”.  If you click the picture, you will jump to Amazon.co.jp.(Japanese website.)

There are also kinds of wedding ceremony halls.

Ceremony halls

・A Shinto shrine / a temple (Japanese style)

・A church (western style)

・anywhere (civil wedding)

Reception halls

・A ceremony hall for a wedding: A traditional venue built to specialize in wedding ceremonies. There are many historical facilities and a Japanese garden.

・A hotel
・A restaurant
・A guesthouse: European style houses made for wedding ceremonies. A new venue made since the 2000s.

These are popular reception halls.

The couples look for the wedding hall that fits their ideal. I want to have my wedding ceremony in a hotel, but there were many hotels in Tokyo and choosing one was hard.  And Popular hotels will be booked soon. Especially “a good day” would be filled with reservations quickly!

When is “a good day”?

There is a traditional Japanese idea that good days and bad days for celebrations depending on the day. This is old fortune-telling which is said to transmit from China, called “Rokuyo”(六曜). The Origin of that is unknown. It is used in Japan when deciding the date of the ceremonial occasion. Many parents still want the children to have a wedding ceremony on “a good day”.

3 Meet each parent

The couples go to each parent’s house and meet each family. Japanese old image of this situation is that a bride’s father doesn’t allow to get married to a bridegroom.

When a couple gets married, the relationship with each family is beginning. Some parents worry about how people see them, then they often don’t allow a marriage because of occupations or conditions of health. The bridegroom often gets nervous when he meets the bride’s father first.

In my case, not so! We enjoyed talking with each family. (*^^*)

The road to marriage is very long… I will write later.

Click here to read the next episode.

2nd episode ⇒ Road to marriage②

3rd episode ⇒ Road to marriage③

4th episode ⇒ Road to marriage④

Final episode ⇒ Road to marriage⑤

rice (Japanese OL)

Japanese OL. (OL means “office lady”. Women who work in offices.)
I was born in a rural part of the Kanto area in the latter half of the 1980s. I  live and work in Tokyo now. I live with my husband. I study English by writing this blog!